I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My vagina is very pro this idea
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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