That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize