I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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