told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
