SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
