remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
