I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
