Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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