dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
