a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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