DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
