i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
