More tranny stories later!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
