he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I wear drunk well.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
