Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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