piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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