they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
third nipple confirmed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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