My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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