I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
