Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
