I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
