i just wanna soil my oats bro
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
