I just saw a hot homeless man
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
