it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
