only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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