Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
