Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
