one might say we're banned from that church
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
