haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
