Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
