absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
