Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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