he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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