Nicole vs. Life
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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