they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
