is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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