some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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