we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
