I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She even gives head with a lisp.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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