i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
