dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
no you cant smoke seaweed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
