Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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