It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
