Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
