its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
