i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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