He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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