i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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