Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
