is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
