The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
