Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
