I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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