I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
