girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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