I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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