she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
