Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Randomize
