Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
