He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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