Rock
Scissors
Fuck
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Randomize
