he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
