I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize